Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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