Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
