i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
