It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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