id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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