Is it because I queefed?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
