I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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