Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
