lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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