Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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