She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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