Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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