if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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