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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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• (310): View more from California

  YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive

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• (315): View more from New York

  Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.

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• (626): View more from California

  One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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• (714): View more from California

  Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Your normalization of crazy is frightening.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.

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