Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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