is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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