have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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