One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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