I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
