I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize