like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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