Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
