he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
3 2 1 whiskey
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
