I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
