did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
