And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
