i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
