I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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