after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
