I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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