Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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