the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize