I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
