my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
