oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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