Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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