I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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