I'm drive I can fine osifer
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
