my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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