he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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