I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i think i have two assholes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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