She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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