I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
