OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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