it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
