I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
