so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
