sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
