Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
