he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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