her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
