I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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