I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize