Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize