Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
