I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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