I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
