Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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