I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
