I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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