oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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