3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
