its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
