he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
