The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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