Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pants are for mortals
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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