Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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