at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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