I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
