Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
